We all know our loveable local celebrity, Cody Cougar. He’s charismatic, friendly, and all around a great guy. However, recent conversation has turned to the topic of the cougar’s lack of pants. What kind of example is he setting for our student body by walking around campus half-nude? He does occasionally wear pants, like gym shorts and uniform pants. What determines if he gets to wear pants or not? 

I was able to speak with Mr. Cougar about this matter during his 54th birthday celebration — where he was, yet again, caught wearing no pants. As Cody attempted to pull his shirt down for modesty, his interpreter explained that finding pants that fit Cody is quite difficult. If his outfit has a theme, however — for example, his military uniform —then it is more likely Cody will be provided with pants. 

While at the celebration, I also interviewed several students who seemed to approve of Cody not wearing any pants. One student remarked that “it’s his birthday right now, so he gets to do what he wants.” It appeared the general consensus was that students were okay with our mascot’s lack of pants.  

However, my interviews led me to a deeper investigation — a more sinister plot that could explain why Cody rarely wears any pants.  

A student posed the question: how does Cody feel about not wearing pants? In the interview, it was stated that finding pants to fit Cody is difficult. However, we found this hard to believe. Plus size clothing is available in many retail stores and even in specialty online stores. It is verified as well that he has worn full length pants in his military uniform, and he could fit those. Surely at least one retailer must have pants to fit our beloved mascot? Shouldn’t providing Cody with proper attire be a priority? “CSU needs to provide him with pants,” said one of the students. “Imagine having to go to your own birthday party pantsless!” 

As evident in the video, Cody seemed to feel self-conscious about his lack of pants. How is it the university can afford to put on a big birthday celebration but not provide its own mascot with appropriate attire? Also, Cody Cougar is an official member of CSU’s Cheer program, in which members are provided with appropriate uniforms. So why is it different for our mascot?

So what can we deduce from this situation? In talking with concerned students, it seems as though Columbus State University is too cheap to get Mr. Cougar proper pants. Is it really too expensive to provide him with more than a pair of gym shorts that are only permitted on certain occasions? In my own professional opinion as a pants-wearer, I think it is not only necessary to provide Cody with pants, but to grant him the dignity he deserves that comes with being fully dressed for success. 

#getCodypants