The more someone like me sits and tries to write about the so-called “pro-life” movement, the more emotions bubble to the surface and the harder it is to get the words out. I know there are millions more women like me in this country.
Even while knowing this, it has been getting harder and harder for me to hear other voices after the overturning of Roe vs. Wade. And after the immediate abortion bans were placed all over the country. And over MAGA’s repeated scream of Christianity and Sanctity of life. And over the lack of knowledge and research of women’s bodily functions and illnesses. Now that the MAGA cult has started to burn other groups of people (like the poor, POC, our government, our economy, the LGBTQ+, freedom of religion, freedom of speech), our voices are being watered down every day and placed on the back burner.
As someone who lives in the south, surrounded by Christians (good and bad) and MAGA, I have come to realize that none of them see the importance of abortion and women’s healthcare until after they need it. Sadly, it is a common logical fallacy that holds humanity by the balls.
The sanctity of a “pre-born” life is their gospel until their girlfriend is dying from a complication, or their sister has an ectopic pregnancy, or until the wanted pregnancy won’t live outside of the womb. I understand that while reading this, some of y’all may think that I am being extreme or dramatic, but you just don’t understand that for many women this is the reality.
Here are some facts for you to think about:
1. 5 to 6 million women have PCOS just in the United States alone. 7-10% of women (of childbearing age) have PCOS. It is the most common reason for infertility.
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome | Endocrine Society
2. “Endometriosis affects about 6-10 per cent of women worldwide. In Canada and the United States, the incidence of endometriosis ranges from 5 to 15 per cent in the women of reproductive age.”
A systematic review on the prevalence of endometriosis in women – PMC
3. “Endometriosis is an often-painful condition in which tissue that is similar to the inner lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus. It often affects the ovaries, fallopian tubes and the tissue lining the pelvis.”
Endometriosis – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic
4. “About 10% to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage.”
Miscarriage – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic
5. For the men reading this (if you didn’t stop as soon as you read the words “woman” and “voices”), let me give you a basic run down of how a woman’s uterus works.
The female hormone cycle lasts, on average, 28 days. While the male hormone cycle lasts about 24 hours. Both sexes have male and female sex hormones which then create the menstrual cycle and the male hormone cycle. (PCOS is defined by having too much of the male hormone, Androgen, which causes a whole bunch of problems). During ovulation, an egg flies down the fallopian tube and then waits to be fertilized. While that is happening, the uterine lining is being built thick and strong so when the egg is fertilized, it can implant itself into the uterine lining (think of implantation and implantation bleeding). When the egg does not get fertilized, the uterus goes scorch earth and tears everything down (causes uterine contractions and cervix dilation to expel the lining, egg, and blood). Then uterus amnesia sets in, and it starts the whole process over again.
Why the hell am I telling you this?
For you to understand something like the female struggle, I must treat you like you have the brain of a marshmallow. I will mainly talk about PCOS as it is the condition I have. If you want to know about any other condition, just go hold a sign up somewhere, and you can be educated by other woman who suffer.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome sucks. It puts you at risk of different types of cancers, endometriosis, diabetes, and the most obvious one: cysts. I’m not even going to bother listing all of it because it’ll take too long. ALL of these can cause a miscarriage or sepsis or infertility or just overall bad health. Problems with insulin levels? Yep. Scar Tissues and endometrial lining growing outside of the uterus? Yes. High male sex hormones? Obviously. A cyst bursting inside your abdomen? I’m waiting to find out for myself. My ultrasound showed and I quote “too many cysts to count.” The cysts look like holes on your ovaries in an ultrasound. My ovaries looked like Swiss cheese.
I was lucky enough to be given the only treatment out there for PCOS at the ripe age of thirteen. Birth Control.
I lied—I am not lucky.
I wanted to be off birth control for a while. To be able to breath and feel my own emotions and health instead of what is given to me by birth control. Sadly, I take a medication that can cause severe fetal deformity or death if I were to get pregnant. Think foot growing out of it’s head or heart outside of the body. My doc (the only one that takes my health insurance) threatened to drop me as a patient and stop prescribing me the only medication that helps me get out of bed in the morning whether it’s because of a deafening migraine or the depression that creeps in through everyday life.
So, I have an 8 year IUD.
Will I be able to get pregnant when I eventually want to be? Who knows. Is it one of my dreams to become a mother? Yes. Will I miscarry? Yeah, probably. If I got pregnant right now, would I need an abortion? Yes, I would. But guess what? Would I be getting the abortion because I don’t want to be pregnant, or because I can’t afford it, or because of my risk of postpartum depression, or because the fetus might not be born with everything in the right places? In what world do you need to fucking know?
Apparently this one
Whatever emotion you felt while reading my story, whether it be sadness, confusion, or even anger, me and millions of other women feel those emotions tenfold. We are angry and upset. These feelings have only been amplified since the overturning of Roe v. Wade and the abortions bans being posted up all over the country. I would love to tell you that I am only angry with MAGA, that pure rage is what drove me to write this novel of an opinion, but unfortunately that would be a lie.
The driving factors for this piece are fear and anxiety. The anxiety that comes with my condition, the political atmosphere in this country, and finally, the anxiety that every woman has experienced.
I am afraid for my future and the future of the women around me.
Like me, most women in the south don’t really have many people to sit down and talk with about this fear. So, we resort to creating frustrating opinion articles for you to read and hope that you don’t just skim it. We hope that eventually more people will have the strength to consider our points of view and experiences.
We hope that the truth we write in articles will be listened to and appreciated for the sadness and fear that they contain.
